Grief and it's ways
Grief, loss, failure are one of the most difficult trials to go through. Grief and loss are not just feelings that come with death. They come with loss of any kind ; loss of a dream, loss of a relationship and loss of a passion/self. This dictum that grief makes way for growth is a prime example of toxic positivity. Although I acknowledge, the intention of the dictum preachers ; of giving hope to the grieving souls, I do not agree with the end goal of grief being sold as growth and enlightenment.
Any change in life will eventually lead to growth and realisation of some truth, so will loss. But cancelling your grief and looking for growth in it before you have really accepted it's gravity can be counter productive. It can lead to repression which is not psychologically healthy. People must not make anyone feel like they are "grieving too much" or sell "grief is a teacher and a master, so don't hate it".
The only goal in the aftermath of loss must acceptance of loss. How we process our loss really foretells our wellbeing in the long run. Acceptance is not just factually understanding that we have lost something essential. Acceptance involves balancing our sense of meaning and purpose in life all over again. Loss can really make people lose faith in goodness, justice, honesty and hardwork. In the aftermath of a broken dream people grieve the time that is lost and lose faith in the dedication and hardwork. People try and rationalise what has befallen then and in the process actively question everything that led up to the loss. One's entire belief system goes through a shock. Life doesn't make that much sense for the most part.
when someone loses a loved one, they question loving as an action, they question divine justice that is at the root of their spiritual and religious beliefs. Loss can be destabilizing. People need time to come to grips with what has happened and deal with what Camus calls the absurdity of life. Hence, absurdity is an incredibly complex concept.
According to kubler and Ross model of grief, there are seven stages. The first stage is denial, this acts as a psychological buffer between reality and our ability to cope with it. The second stage is, wrought with anger and frustration. People are trying to question why something Is lost. The sheer absurdity of loss weighs heavily on a person. The third stage is that of bargaining, this stage involves trying to find meaning in one's predicament. It involves confronting all the existential questions, anger and frustration to settle the angst one is feeling. One tries to look at one's predicament with calm for the purpose of finding traces of meaning. The fourth stage is that of depression, people in this stage cyclically go back and forth between the first 3 stages of grief and feel incredibly helpless in the face of loss. The final stage is that of acceptance where people are able to accept what had happened and are able to reconstruct meaning and their worldview around the loss.
.Romantization of loss and forcing people to see the bright side or profit from loss is very counterproductive. Everyone has their own pace dealing with losses. One cannot be forced to be optimistic. Growth is a process but it cannot happen before acceptance of loss. Hence, as hard as it maybe for us to see people deal with loss we cannot push for growth and profitability in loss. Allowing people to grieve in a safe environment is important.
Any change in life will eventually lead to growth and realisation of some truth, so will loss. But cancelling your grief and looking for growth in it before you have really accepted it's gravity can be counter productive. It can lead to repression which is not psychologically healthy. People must not make anyone feel like they are "grieving too much" or sell "grief is a teacher and a master, so don't hate it".
The only goal in the aftermath of loss must acceptance of loss. How we process our loss really foretells our wellbeing in the long run. Acceptance is not just factually understanding that we have lost something essential. Acceptance involves balancing our sense of meaning and purpose in life all over again. Loss can really make people lose faith in goodness, justice, honesty and hardwork. In the aftermath of a broken dream people grieve the time that is lost and lose faith in the dedication and hardwork. People try and rationalise what has befallen then and in the process actively question everything that led up to the loss. One's entire belief system goes through a shock. Life doesn't make that much sense for the most part.
when someone loses a loved one, they question loving as an action, they question divine justice that is at the root of their spiritual and religious beliefs. Loss can be destabilizing. People need time to come to grips with what has happened and deal with what Camus calls the absurdity of life. Hence, absurdity is an incredibly complex concept.
According to kubler and Ross model of grief, there are seven stages. The first stage is denial, this acts as a psychological buffer between reality and our ability to cope with it. The second stage is, wrought with anger and frustration. People are trying to question why something Is lost. The sheer absurdity of loss weighs heavily on a person. The third stage is that of bargaining, this stage involves trying to find meaning in one's predicament. It involves confronting all the existential questions, anger and frustration to settle the angst one is feeling. One tries to look at one's predicament with calm for the purpose of finding traces of meaning. The fourth stage is that of depression, people in this stage cyclically go back and forth between the first 3 stages of grief and feel incredibly helpless in the face of loss. The final stage is that of acceptance where people are able to accept what had happened and are able to reconstruct meaning and their worldview around the loss.
.Romantization of loss and forcing people to see the bright side or profit from loss is very counterproductive. Everyone has their own pace dealing with losses. One cannot be forced to be optimistic. Growth is a process but it cannot happen before acceptance of loss. Hence, as hard as it maybe for us to see people deal with loss we cannot push for growth and profitability in loss. Allowing people to grieve in a safe environment is important.
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